It'll be 4 more hours to my flight to BKK for my little retreat - recharge, revitalise and renew within and without. I am really grateful for 2009. It had been a fantastic year, and seldom had I ever felt so much going on for a very long time. Eventful, change and growth will be the 3 key words I would use to sum up my 2009.
- KY's establishment, getting my own pool of clientele - green in my calendar
- Managing coaching at both KY and Advo - green and (more) purple in my calendar
- PR in Jun09
- Finding joy in coaching, in whichever platform - love the relations built with my students and peers
- Taking on a BU in Advo
- Making a decision to focus in AC in 2010
- CTC, am an Advocoach - full pledge
- Making a decision to train coaches.
- The birth of my second niece
Next year will be a brilliant year, a great great year and I am so excited and looking forward to ginormous growth in 2010! Here's to all, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! :)
Yesterday Ms Pey invited me for a quick bite with her.
I innocently followed her to Toast Box and as we were eating, we discussed about the retreat, things that the KK commented about us. Yes especially US the vgians.
The conversation reached its peak when we talk about "who am I?".
I think I am just me... Audrey.
I don't see the need to bring to others attention my job title.
Especially towards my peers.
I do not agree that I am devaluing myself or things I do.
I know perfectly well what I am doing. Job title is merely a name that ties to ur responsibilities.
I do not see it as something great.
At this point you may wanna say since its ntg great why then am I "hiding"?
To me its nothing, yet many times when I reveal my title, pple will go "wow".
I dislike this kind of uninvited attention.
Or rather I was brought up in this manner to stay low profile and not flaunt our "fame/achievement".
Should the occassion and the need arise, for instance in a business meeting of coz I will present my title to them.
Ms Pey was telling me that I should have only ONE identity.
By having so many different faces when dealing with different group of people will cause the dissonance in me, and prevent me from performing better.
This causes much disturbance within me and that is why you see me complaining away.
Coz I was initially at peace with myself.
And I am irritated by this intruding uncertainty.
RWAR!!!
However, after a good nite's sleep.
This no longer bothers me.
I am still Audrey Choy, ONE identity.
Job title is just something to tie to my job scope. ^^V
Dear Vgians,
Its the last month of the year... where things start to slow down.
I guess I am reaping what I sow for the entire year.
It has definitely been an eventful year.
There hasnt been much progress for me in terms of productivity for work.
There has always been lotsa internal struggle.
However, I am starting to see light after the CTC and all these year end reflection n I believed there are more to come.
Yet, I honestly have LEARNT alot this year. Through unpleasant experiences..
Nevertheless, I feel blessed for the entire year.
I am happy for wadever happens to me, everyone in my life who left their footprints around.
Even for VG... there was a point I thought it will dissolve.
I thank all three of you for holding it on and showing me the ways.. the ropes.. the late night discussion... you are my mentors! =D
Also, I appreciate all the help rendered in times of challenges.
Love you guys!
Lead a wonderful life in 2010 and realise our dreams together!
Cheers to greater heights!
I suggest we get some light liquor for our retreat for a little celebration?!
P/S: Sorry for the lengthy n long winded post.
how fast it is already december,
seems like january was just ystdy.
anyway, this week i am shagged (super).
i jus ended exams & immediately i have to do workshop,
dun even have time to breathe!
but when i engross myself in self-pity,
i suddenly remember i am going to NZ soon
& feel alittle happier.
anyway, i am really too tired to blog now,
i didnt even have space to reflect this week,
i will have to do reflection in VG retreat & on my own ...
ok i dun even have strength left now to insert a cat picture.
bye ....
Ok, the title sounded cheesy, sort of, and it's true! I was on my way to my student's place for yoga today. It was a lovely stroll down a quiet lane into the houses at Thomson. Though the sun was bright and sunny, the lovely trees at the side road provided a cool shade for my journey. The birds chirped and occasionally, a gentle breeze would welcome me on my trail. It was the kind of scene in the movie. I felt so complete, whole AND present, a feeling rather intangible to be captured in words. It was just, nice!
As I reached the gate at the time of my appointment, the lovely scene still lingered around me. And as I stood there waiting, I was feeling really charged up and rejuvenated, all ready to offer my world my presence. I felt so blessed and grateful to be given the opportunity to be in a position to be of value to people around me.
No one answered the bell.
I continued to bask in the special moment. Looking at the greenery around me, I started to think how lovely it would be to offer this experience to my parents, specially my mom. She had always wanted a little garden of her own, where she could plant some vegetables and colourful flowers, enjoying the sights and fruits of her labour. At that moment, I realised that I had neglected my parents' dreams in my pursuit of my own. It dawned upon me that I was providing things that I thought they had wanted. What is it that they truly want (aside me getting married to "Ah Bao") or even dream of...
It made me felt so driven to be able to provide for my mom, the very experience of owning her little plot of land to do what she had wanted to. I began to relate to what Invisible Force had mentioned when he spoke about his father - now, I kinda grasp what he meant.
Sometimes, in my pursuit of my dream, I had missed out bits and pieces that makes it whole. Now, it's time for me to think deeper into those pieces and bring them all together.
I just want to share, i have changed.
I acknowledge the fact that i am not the ONLY one.
Although i did not put empathy as one of my values, i realise i do put myself into others' people shoes.
This morning, my mum is doing the "usual" sharing.
She started to talk about things that happened years ago(things that she felt is her LIFE experience). For the 1st time, i listen.
I have chose to listen to my mum more and more recently.
I did an experiment with my niece. And i am RIGHT!!
Babies does not understand language, they understood your meanings. Like your tone, your expressions, your bodylanguage. They cannot really understand the words at first, they learn what they can feel first.
As i listen to my mum, i start to omit out the words she used, i realise her expressions is slight agitated, her tonality is aggresive, her bodylanguage is illustrative. I started to see a mum that i failed to see for years. She is so perfect. I looked at students that we have, all complained about their parents this and that. I remembered clearly how i make my parents cried before because of things that i learnt outside and used against them. I understand how it feels to win them.
There's a saying," you win the arguement, you'll lose the fight"
Took me years to understand. I have been losing them for years. Now i want to bring back my parents. No matter how disappointed, how upset, how afraid they are of me, i would want to find them all back.
Learning to appreciate is one of the greatest gift of mankind. The reason why a child want to be rebellious is not because of outside influences, is their desire to have freedom. And the funny thing is, they often want to prove to their parents that they are smarter, they are better, they are big enough to handle themselves; Most importantly, they are never better than their parents until they learn how to appreciate them. Now I see alot of similarities between me and my parents. I ridicule my past. I have not even learnt my parents' strength, how can i complain my mum is nagging....etc..
Appreciation is the art of empowering yourself with strengths of your own and others. That is why people who know how to appreciate things, they don't complain, critisize or condemn.
To appreciate, we must first accept 100%, embrace what others have given us and empower ourselves to be free. This is true freedom!!
Blurson from today will be called the Enlightened Son!(in short, call me SUN)